WINTER SOLSTICE 2006
After a long, dry autumn and early winter, it is finally snowing. Looking out my window, I see tire tracks through the snow in the alley across from my office, and coworkers are popping in to express their excitement about the weather. We live in the Upper Midwest, where we expect to have snow on the ground, and lots of it, by Winter Solstice.
This is the time of year that marks the fourth anniversary of my mother’s suicide, and I’ve been thinking about the people who have helped me during the years after her death, often in unanticipated and surprising ways. I’m a list maker, and today I’ve made a list of those people and the various things for which I'm grateful to them.
SJG, for loving me, for doing all the housework in the months immediately afterward, and for giving me space to mourn in my own way
My sister, for listening without judgment
My father, who found just the right poems
MFO, for her letters and knowing heart
ML, who pointed me to the right stories
Ann G, who trusts in my mother’s choice
Kay, Marion, and JZ, who understand what it’s like
Jon, who gave me his copy of Kaddish
Luci, who came into this world on the heels of my mother’s departure
And Finna, for her joy.